What kind of programmer are you? / Hebrew

Short description

The article discusses several negative qualities that some programmers may exhibit, such as lack of creativity, refusal to consult with colleagues, prioritizing money over learning and growth, and resistance to change. These programmers may rely on code samples without understanding them, avoid criticism, use technical jargon to appear important, prioritize perfection over functionality, refuse to learn new technologies, and neglect testing their code. The article urges programmers to avoid these behaviors in order to become better at their craft.

What kind of programmer are you? / Hebrew

To be honest, while learning programming, I fell in love with Python. At that time, it was not yet so incredibly popular, and after the C/C++/Java course, I had the feeling that I was taken out of a vat of boiling resin, doused with panthenol and given a drink of delicious mineral water. I was already a good engineer, but like any decent person, I was attracted by money in development – and I studied, studied, studied… While I was studying, I wrote a bunch of scripts for working servers, learned to work with SQL queries in billing myself , made samples for analysts, without harming the service of the ACS. I even went to a not-so-bloody enterprise to look at the development, dived in, but retreated into testing related to the main profile. Because once he honestly said to himself: “What kind of programmer are you?” I will tell others too 😉

Prompt: the programmer is strict with the cat

So, you sit in the office, receive tasks and think that they are not worth it to you, because after two years of studying a couple of languages ​​at a course or university, you have to sit and create brilliant software, entirely and completely – only as you see it. Customer requirements, technical task? Pffff don’t teach me how to live, I know what software you need! You don’t write a medical certificate for a doctor’s treatment, do you? In the sense of collecting anamnesis? And we are not in a hospital here. Only the developer understands how the software should work and how to design it, and the user will get used to it.

What kind of programmer are you?

***

When you receive a task, you don’t try to think and design, but immediately Google a sample wording, because everything was invented for us. You don’t understand what you found, but drag it into your code, correcting some small errors and commenting lines of code so that everything compiles normally. In the depths of your soul, you understand that you are not doing business, but you are counting on a responsible middleman who will take care of the project, refactor the code and intelligently correct all the mistakes and inaccuracies (in fact, he will do the work for you by rewriting the fragment).

What kind of programmer are you?

***

You don’t consult with colleagues and code in proud solitude because you’re afraid of criticism. But you won’t tell anyone about it and pretend that you’re just much more competent than others and don’t want to waste time discussing some code style and conducting a code review. In a small company, it goes with a bang, but in a large one, you learned to puff out your cheeks in the style of a cloaked lizard and someone believed in you, and someone tries not to touch it, so as not to … well, you understand. For you, there are your code rules and they are wrong – only because you are terribly insecure about yourself and your knowledge. But who will know about it? (Spoiler: everyone).

What kind of programmer are you?

***

You came to AIT only for money. You have no desire to immerse yourself in the world of interfaces, refactoring, elegant code, high performance, because you don’t want to move and grow with what you do. You have firmly mastered the ranks: junior, middle, senior, and expect to move from one to the other as the years go by, dealing with your limited tasks. Each start of a new project or a new side project makes your hands cold, because non-standard tasks may appear that you need to understand and immerse yourself in.

What kind of programmer are you?

***

You’ve learned all the jargon words and show your “programming” with all your might at meetings, especially if it’s not a retrospective, but a meeting with colleagues from other departments. It is necessary to show your importance and necessity so that other, certainly not such technical colleagues, feel their inferiority. You believe that explaining what and how you are working is the most necessary for the manager, the rest should be extremely happy with the release of new releases with tasks from the backlog. When they will come out, how they are implemented, how they work – guess for yourself, you were not hired to teach them.

What kind of programmer are you?

***

You’re slowing down the whole project, not because you’re coding slowly, but because you’re building your big, perfect code. It’s perfectly readable code that doesn’t need comments, meticulously refactored, optimized for variables, contains better patterns, absorbs best practices, but … it’s been written for months. And who will tell you what? Did you pile up bugs or screw up crutches and bicycles? No, you create perfection that is not available to others. Well, what if the feature is not included in the third release in a row – but then everyone will be happy from a fragment of the Big Code.

What kind of programmer are you?

***

You have not been working for the first year and you know for sure that you can only work on the old stack. Your experience was taken from a real Imperial bank enterprise, back in the 90s, and it was perfect. And now what? Kotlin, Go was somehow invented, containers for the lazy were invented. And you guys, do you understand what’s inside your containers? Switch to a new stack? You know for sure that nothing good will come out of this, because old components need to be rewritten, templates need to be changed, part of the development needs to be redesigned. Oh, young people have forgotten the sacred principle of a programmer: it works – don’t touch it. Even if it is a fierce legacy.

What kind of programmer are you?

***

You write your code and think that the work is finished: geniuses do not reread their masterpieces. Self-tests are the essence of evil, because there are testers for testing the code. Although you don’t need them either – your experience allows you to pour directly on prod. Does the code look like it’s been obfuscated? You are completely indignant, because they simply do not understand this slim idea. You create code and require little: respect for experience and knowledge. What, the testers sent in seven bug reports, one of them was critical? Of course, they need to suck something from their finger to demonstrate their work! You write, it does not fall, what else is needed?

What kind of programmer are you?

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