To be special

To be special

Look, I’m special! We shout to society. I’m already starting a third business! And I visited a hundred countries! I am fabulously beautiful! And I grew up in Ebeny, but now I have weight in the capital! I am very aware! And I just came back from the retreat and understood everything! I cynically expose everyone! And I’m richer! I hold a high position! And I am a talented artist! I am very smart! And I know celebrities! I’m carrying a ten thousand dollar purse! And I jumped with a parachute! I bought an apartment in the center! Got a million subscribers! Sincere! Good! All this together and above all this!

And at first glance, there is nothing wrong with this. Being special is a simple and clear meaning of life. Movies and books taught this for a reason. Only a special hero has an interesting and worthy fate. Only he has a purpose. And the lives of secondary characters are gray and boring. They also die to make it more obvious.

Moreover, the desire to climb the pyramids of social significance is embedded in us by evolution. If you are significant, you have more resources, you are more likely to give offspring, and you will fix the genetic mutation with this behavior pattern.

This is enhanced by the specifics of prolonged growing up. Immediately after birth, we are a small defenseless creature, but with a fully functioning brain. And the first thing the brain learns is to be a special object in the world of adults. Just a survival strategy, nothing personal.

And here we are. In the world of social networks, where the importance of “being special” has skyrocketed. The monkey’s brain was, of course, not very ready for such radical changes.

Being special is now the main job of a person with ambition. The rest are secondary, insignificant activities. How about a regular job? Well, in short, this is what happens. The new generation seeks to earn money in such a way that work tasks or company status enhance the peculiarity. And if this does not happen, then they change the job.

In an ideal scenario, working on a profession and working on a personal specialty should be one. And there is such work – they are bloggers. Their task is to live an interesting life, and tell about it so that others want to follow. And I think that blogging is the main profession of the future.

Today, a schoolboy asks himself: “What profession should I master in order to be in demand?”. Tomorrow the question will be: “Which lifestyle should I choose to attract more attention?”. And style may well include a classic profession. You can become an engineer or a programmer, even a janitor. The main thing is that the profession should be interesting to follow.

Now about the labor market. Let’s be honest. Artificial intelligence and robotics will replace all professions. In practice, this means that only 10% of humanity will be involved to ensure the current standard of living. The rest are free.

Simply put, the usual logic “I am needed because I have professional skills” will disappear. Any skills will depreciate, but people will remain. And they will also want to climb the hierarchical pyramids, and when they are at the top, they will receive more opportunities and resources. This is our nature.

And the professional economy will be replaced by the economy of uniqueness. Those who live the most interesting lives will receive more. And he talks about it better than others. Every person’s life will become a performance, an expression. Art.

Will such a life become easier? Oh no. The current nervous tension will be remembered as a paradise period. Because a society built entirely on the pursuit of uniqueness is hell.

If you think that popular bloggers are such happy unicorns who bathe in money and attention, then you really think so. They need to create just such an image to attract attention.

The life of a person who wants to be special looks something like this. There are short events that confirm the peculiarity. Someone praised you, paid attention to you, the video shot, you were recognized on the street. Everything is done for the sake of these moments. That’s about 1% of life. There are long grueling periods of feature work. Go to hard-to-reach places, shoot a documentary on YouTube, learn a new profession, create an ideal body. All this is difficult, long and exhausting. But a person at least feels a premonition. And finally, there is the rest of life that causes anxiety.

Anxiety is the main feeling felt by a person who wants to be special. And it doesn’t matter if he is a blogger or not. If a person has a social network where he writes regularly, then he has already fallen into the trap.

Ordinary everyday relationships, including the ones that make up life, do not make you special. And therefore, meaningless in such a system of values. While you are doing them, someone else is working on their uniqueness. And you feel with every cell that you will lose in the race. You become mediocrity.

A taxi or subway ride, breakfast or dinner, having sex, talking with friends, a relationship with a loved one, talking to parents, a boring vacation by the sea, watching a movie, sleeping, any quiet moments, the need to rest, reading fiction literature – all this causes stress. Senseless waste of time.

How to deal with this stress? Very easy. You have to eat in interesting places. Make friends only with unusual or status people. Sleep on a special mattress. Have a relationship with a socially attractive person, watch movies from the “TOP IMDB” list, go on vacation to unusual places, read only cult or professional literature. And so on. You simply turn life into a process of accumulating uniqueness.

Relationships suffer the most from this approach. You need to constantly find new friends to accumulate a feature. We are not talking about a deep connection. Communication with parents should be minimized. And the relationship with a close person too. Everything about the relationship cannot be revealed publicly. Therefore, it makes no sense to invest time and the relationship crumbles. Even if from the side it seems that everything is fine.

As a result, such people are very lonely. There is only one type of relationship that is important — the relationship with the faceless, observing society.

But the problem is not even that. The problem is that it doesn’t help. Life turns into work. What’s the point of getting to know the country better on vacation if you’ve already arrived and ticked the box. You can’t post feelings from sightseeing on social media. So there is no sense in feelings, and you will write an enthusiastic post like this.

What happens in life now makes sense only if it allows for the public appropriation of the experience. Assign a feature. Even more experience, even faster to provide! Because you are not alone in this race. You compete with millions of the same ones. And all your special places, achievements, acquaintances and competences – all this will be devalued tomorrow. And you feel it, and you constantly feel stressed.

I lived it all and still live it. I’ve seen it in relationships from both sides. I see it in bloggers and entrepreneurs I know. I see it in my friends. I see it in society. I see how it becomes more every year.

When I discuss this with acquaintances, I almost always see an emotional explosion. Getting to some sore spot. A zone where a person feels like a squirrel in a wheel. This is always a painful conversation. And it ends with a simple question: “And how will I get joy from life if I stop receiving confirmation of my uniqueness? Then why live at all?”.

And I have no answer. I don’t know myself. It’s easy to say, “Just stop doing that.” But in fact, the entire supporting structure can be built on the desire to be special. It’s like drug addiction. A drug addict does not understand why a drug-free life is necessary. She is gray, faceless, meaningless. Just like life without striving for uniqueness.

I think this desire trains the brain to devalue anything outside of this race. And over the years, this gray area grows. Along with the stress you feel when you get to it. Instead, you get moments of triumph. A small period of life when you can relax. Not sure if this is an equal exchange.

I don’t want to moralize here. Moreover, I don’t want to devalue people who built their lives in this way. A great number of benefits arose as a result of their efforts. Thanks for that, it’s important. I just don’t want it anymore. I don’t even want to be special about not being special. These are all brain traps.

Unfortunately, in my case, this is the supporting structure of the personality (you can see how I managed). It is impossible to take it with a jerk. And so far the plan is this. I will simply put the tag “excessive desire for particularity” for every thought, for every action I take to achieve this goal. I really hope that gradually the brain will understand what I want from it. And rebuilds.


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